By: Bryan Sutherland

vampire couple

Photo By Draïgona Vampire / CC BY (Cropped)

 

Bryan Sutherland explores the world of dating in the vampire world. Whether you identify with the vampire culture, are smitten by someone who is or are both fans of vamps, here are some vampire dating tips aimed to help you impress that new, special vampire in your life.

 

A  lonely heart will ache for love even in the cold chest of a vampire. Are you searching for for a long-term partner? How about a quick fling? Whatever your intention, a vampire themed date may be the key to finding happiness… or at least satisfying some bloodlust. Below are some essential items to bring on your date to keep the evening alive.

 

For Non-Vampires

There is a lot of freedom for the poser-vamp with no dietary restrictions or daylight curfews, but a vampire themed date still requires some tact. Bring a book of dark poetry to set the mood, like Edgar Allen Poe or Sylvia Plath.

Dress somber and luxurious (vintage clothes circa 1800 will do the trick) and if you have piercings, dress those holes up with some bat shaped studs or dangly skulls. Ditch anything shaped like a crucifix  and polish your teeth – they will gleam when you smile at each-other in the moonlight, but don’t forget the breath mints!

If you’re feeling fresh, take a picnic outside after dark complete with a vampire themed meal. If you don’t drink blood there are many substitutes to pack in your basket. Think tomato soup, cranberry juice, and rare steak. Anything red will do.  If you’re feeling hardcore though,  your local butcher will be happy to fill you up with a bucket of pigs blood. Drink it if you dare, but you will probably puke and ruin the romance. Besides, any vegan would advise beet juice as an alternative. The stains on your lips will look all the same.

 

If one of you is a Vampire

The pressure is on if your date is a real vampire. Impress them with your stylish attire, and leave the ripped jeans at home. Red roses are appreciated especially if swiped from a funeral home because vampires love sentimental items.

Find a low key/ low light restaurant that has a refined menu and a classy look. Basically buffets and cheap diners are out of the question. Do not shy away from bloody foods either like blue steak or roasts.

Plan the night ahead of time but let your date set the tone since vampires thrive on control. Be forewarned- this may involve biting the neck of your waiter so keep your getaway vehicle running in case you need to make a quick escape. Remember, dinner carnage is sometimes a turn-on.

Be sure to end the night with a stroll down a romantic abandoned street. If you get lucky your date may lean in for a kiss… or a fierce love bite. And just like that your second date will be designed for two blood thirsty lovers instead of just one.

 

If you are both Vampires

Just bring yourselves and have fun. Leave the cash at home because vampires are VIP. Bring a smartphone so you can locate upscale restaurants and embrace the perks of vamp-life. You won’t have to wait in line if you flash your fangs… they’ll find you a table quick.

Keep in mind that you are both immortal super beings so your date should also involve taking some risks. Go bungee jumping! Grab some long-boards and bomb down the steepest hill in your town! Fly up to the top of a skyscraper for a moonlight kiss! While you’re up there feast on the blood of rats and pigeons then throw their corpses at passing cars… or keep it simple and share a quiet blood bath at home.

Gruesome, romantic or daring you must keep your dates exciting to ensure a healthy vampire relationship.  Your love could literally last an eternity.

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